Excerpts
Developing a Personal Relationship With God
Getting His Support
Sick Days and Nights |
Getting His Support
Obviously, you need support from your husband, too. You and your husband must each do your part, and provide support for each other, for your family to thrive. It's harder to get this support if your husband doesn't respect and value what you do, and unfortunately some husbands view their at-home wives as "sitting home all day doing nothing." If your husband does not support your being at home caring for your children, first and foremost know that you're doing what is the most important job in the world. Seek support from the Bible and from other moms who believe in what you are doing and pray that your husband's eyes will be opened to all you do.
Janice was frustrated. “My husband, Jim, didn’t seem to realize what I did all day. He talked about how tired he was from his job, but brushed off my complaints, saying, 'You can’t be that tired; you were home all day.’ Finally, I made a detailed list of everything I did every day to make the household run smoothly. I included cooking, cleaning, making appointments, picking up his dry cleaning, taking the kids to the library, managing their health, and so on and so on. I showed Jim this list the next time he poo-poohed what I did.
He was amazed by the many tasks I did to keep the household running. I look at the list every time I need validation for all I do.”
Your husband won’t always notice or compliment you on what you've done (it’s a man thing). Marci's husband didn't notice she'd painted the kitchen for three days! Don't hint, don’t be subtle, and don’t allude to what you’ve done or what you need. Be direct; "I want to hear about your day, but then please ask me about my day!" or, "I need two hours to myself either this afternoon or after you get home from work tomorrow. Which time works better for you?" or, “What do you think of the way I rearranged the furniture?”
When he asks you about your day, thank him profusely for remembering to ask. Talk about the good things that happened as well as the bad. When you come back from an afternoon away, be cheerful, even if your bad mood hasn't completely left. Show him how meeting your needs makes you a better person and therefore benefits him, too.
Make an effort to notice what your husband does to support you. Tansy said, "Sometimes I don't feel like he's doing anything to support me, but when I look at it objectively, he does many things to help out around the house and support me."
“Real Life” Wives Give Suggestions: The following list contains answers from "real life moms" for the question, "How does your husband support and help you?" Use this list in two ways; first, to help you notice the big and little things he does for you, and second, to show to your husband, saying, "Here are some ways you can support me."
- "He takes care of the kids so I can have an evening out, or an evening at home free of the responsibility of giving baths and putting kids to bed."
- "He helps with shopping, cooking, folding clothes, and other everyday tasks around the house."
- "He works with me as a team, disciplining the kids, caring for the kids, going to their activities, taking them to school, and picking them up from school when he can."
- "He keeps his sense of humor through the tough times as well as the good times. He jokes with me and makes me laugh."
- "We talk about our dreams and goals and plans for the future, for our kids and our family. Then we talk about ways to work towards them."
- "He never puts me down or points out my flaws to others. Instead, in front of our friends, he compliments me on my cooking and how I care for the kids and run the household."
- "He tells me I'm a great mom and thanks me for what I do to run our household."
- "He encourages me to pursue my interests and hobbies, and cares for the kids so I can work on them at home or go to classes once in awhile."
- "He prays for me."
- "He lets me sleep in when I'm extra tired."
- "He shows interest in my day."
- "He sends me flowers."
- "He gives me a kiss goodbye before he leaves the house."
- "He calls me during the day, just to see how my day is going and check if I need him to pick anything up from the store on his way home."
- "He says 'I love you.'"
- "He listens to my complaints without offering advice."
- "He gives me lots of hugs, even if he's in a hurry to get out the door."
Write this verse on a notecard, and put it where he can see it every day; “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given you under the sun; for this is your reward in life, and in your toil which you have labored under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9) |
